We are starting a new segment on our website where we give our advice to anonymous submissions. We receive so many emails asking our opinion on a day to day basis, we thought we would try out posting our response so that it can reach even more people! I don't think we realize just how many people experience the similar situations that life throws our way. We want to create an A Cord of Three Community that is supportive, loving, and understanding. We encourage you to submit your story, your struggle that you are currently navigating through, and let us and the A Cord of Three Community lift you up through the comment section below. We are not registered therapists, theologians, or psychologists, we are just two people who love each other, you, and The Lord.
Our first submission comes from a student in Tucson, Arizona—
“Hi Jessica and Ryan!
I admire you both as individuals and as a couple so much. I know there is a good chance that you will not receive this message nor reply, but I figured I would try to reach out.
I am recently working hard in improving my relationship with God. I have been reading A Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, as well as trying to focus on God's plan for me instead of what I may think is best for me. In addition to this, I had a long term boyfriend since high school, and we recently split up as a result of the challenges and strains put on our relationship caused by being new college students. However, we do remain in contact and are best friends. I truly believe him to be the man God created me to marry. As a couple from an early age, I was wondering what the best advice is that you could offer to me/us about maintaining a strong relationship not only with each other, but with God as well. Since we are so young, there are things that we are both still learning constantly. And some lessons were learned painfully. I'm sure you two have experienced situations like this as well, and I was wondering what has helped you both to stay focused, driven, and good with one another through everything. If you got back to me it would truly mean the world. Thank you! :)”
J&R: Hi there! I personally love a Purpose Driven Life as a morning devotional! The book is meant to be read only one section at a time, making it a fast yet impactful read before you start your day. I know when I was on SYTYCD Ryan and I made it a point to read the same pages together and discuss what we learned throughout the day.
Most people say that being in a relationship during this time in our lives is extremely difficult, and I have to agree. Your 20’s are glorified as one’s selfish years where you deserve to do only what makes you happy and ultimately find a better understanding of yourself along the way. The problem with this is that you can’t be selfish in a relationship. Successful relationships are made up of two selfLESS people that give and serve each other every single day. This is where you have to ask yourself; Is it possible to achieve everything I want in life while sustaining a healthy relationship? My answer is yes! Will you be taking the easy, most convenient route? Absolutely not. But, if God has put on your heart that this man will be your husband one day you have to make the decision for yourself if it’s worth it. Ryan and I have been through this dilemma especially with the uncertainty of our creative jobs and calling, but each time we have chosen each other. Not only have we chosen each other, but also ourselves. We haven’t given up on our dreams, we’ve just committed to making it all work no matter how hard it gets. Ryan is beginning to travel every weekend of the year and I am working on school and dancing professionally, so we have decided to do a weekly bible study at home together and join a small group with our church. The goal is that although we are less available, our faith will grow even stronger together to make up the loss of time spent together. I suggest doing that with your boyfriend and having a serious talk about which path you would like to take. If you are meant to be together, you will find your way back to each other.